The "After"

Weird Melissa'isms. 

The other night while driving home from Daytona, I had a profound and odd thought that popped into my head about Leone since his death.

The thought I'd had was that of him in the "after" looking quite like the Great Sphinx of Giza on the floor of our bedroom looking at us and around the room. His front legs stretching out in front of his body, head erect, and ears perked up watching and listening to life going on around him. His tail stretched out behind him casually, and back legs were tucked under his belly.

His body then became relaxed, like it was releasing itself back to the earth. The earth in this essence being the floor upon which he laid supported by soft warm things familiar to him and to us. He was at peace and I desperately needed to see that...

Short back-story: The night just a short time before he died, he’d had a few “beans.” Beans in this case are a case of the sillies, he'd zipped about a little bit while he was outside with the other dogs, acting like he'd acted when he was younger. I've heard of something called a "surge" and wonder if animals experience it, too.

Later on, Tim and I were outside enjoying the evening and we heard howling coming from the living room. We walked quietly up to the window and got to see him and the other two with their noses turned up high making sad mournful cries. Once they saw us, they immediately quit and came running to the door to try and see us. They never howl in front of us and anytime they hear us creeping up to see them, they immediately quit howling. 

Later still after dinner and watching some TV we made it into the bedroom to settle down for the night. At some point, Leone asked to be put down on the floor, presumably to go do a business. After he was done, he tottered back into the bedroom and asked to be picked back up on the bed, which of course, I helped him do.

Immediately after I got back into bed, he came over to my side and slumped over, looking like he was about to fall over the side. I grabbed him before he could fall and noticed he was limp in my hands. One part of me cried out knowing exactly what was happening and I should have let it happen, but the other foolishly jumped into action. I wasn’t ready, HE was, though.

I performed CPR on him and for about a minute, he came back but was struggling with every breath and it wasn't kind or peaceful at all. There was not a damn thing we could do, but we stopped regardless.  While we cried, we talked to him, petted him, kissed him, cuddled him, and let him go.

Maddie wandered into the room and curled up next to him on the pad with blankets and towels we made up for him on the floor. She was pressed up against him where she stayed for about an hour. His little body cooled off while she lay next to him, and his color changed as it does when a body no longer has blood pulsing through it. 

I’m anthropomorphizing here, but at some point, I think she felt he, the living being he'd been, was gone and eventually she got up and tottered off to find a softer warmer place to lie. Conall who’d been keeping watch on the goings on below him from our bed eventually got up and walked away, too. 

Moving along...

Back to the other night where I'd had my odd thought. Perhaps dumb? probably very odd to anyone reading this, I don't know, you decide.

I was in bed and heard what sounded like Leone's gait trotting through the room over to my side of the bed as sleep started to take me. I then heard the same sound wander over to the other side of the bed where Tim lay sleeping and pause for a moment or two. I then heard what sounded like his feet retreating quietly, almost purposefully out of the room.

It was probably a dream, but it seemed to me like he had come back to where he’d spent his last few minutes alive about roughly three weeks earlier to say, hey…Mum? Dad? I’m good. I am whole and healthy and I’m so glad I got to spend time with you for a while.

Cheers to you little fella, we love and miss you Mr. Broome, my little Sphinx in the sun.