Here we sit...

 June 4, 2022 (Continued)    

Brandon's parked in the recliner here in his room and I'm sitting on his bed stretched out. TV's on for background noise He's sacked out and has been for almost an hour now, hallelujah. Anti-anxiety meds have helped as well as the cough meds. Fits of wakefulness here and there, but for the most part, he's pretty zonked out, now.

Talked to one of his nurses early this morning. He'd told them he wanted to be discharged, so they called to tell me and reassure me he was fine. I got down here and he told me the same thing - I want to get the hell out of this place and go home. Never got an explanation "why". Thinking maybe it's due to our last visit here where we waited for hours in the ED waiting on a room back in March. No clue. Anxiety surely plays a huge part in it as it has the last couple weeks. 

One of the nurses from the cancer center was here and came in and talked to me a bit. Said that his oncologist and a pulmonologist here had been chatting about his case and reiterated the plan. The plan being to put in a cath to help drain the fluid without having to pack up and go to a surgeon OR pulmonologist and have them do it only to have to return in a few days to do it again. 

No problem. 

Problem though...? it's Saturday and it probably won't happen until Monday. She DID say if he wants to be discharged, they could send him home on palliative care and come back and do it outpatient. <Me mentally making "urgh" sounds and crossing my eyes and all sorts of other sound effects/faces> 

We could conceivably do that - go home, BUT,  hospice/palliative care is still being worked on - Eff. Talked to a social worker here and she's going to work on THAT. 

Since then, I've had two chats with two different folks - one a neighbor and the other, our very dear friend, Laura who have both said they can be there if/when Hospice states they're on the way with a couple things we'd need/have requested for at home care, so maybe not a problem? They can get into the house and deposit stuff, etc. <PLEASE IGNORE MY TORNADO OF A HOME! :) > I've not really been home in almost two weeks, so there's laundry on top of the dryer, etc. 

Talked to her a bit more - the nurse from our oncologists offices and unfortunately, it looks like time is pretty short. 

How short, no one knows for sure, no one can put a time on stuff. I know they've seen this way more than should be allowed or possible, but it is a part of life. The crappy part. 

She did say what another person had said though - 'two weeks'. <thud> 

How does one survive this?