Touch

Monday – August 28, 2023

I went to sleep last night absolutely exhausted. I'd come home from a two-week trip to Sarasota visiting Timothy.

At one point in the middle of the night, I drowsily reached my hand out expecting to feel his hand slowly grasp mine and squeeze gently. It literally woke me up to not feel his hand in mine. I’d felt his touch for two weeks.

Constantly, casually, silently, absently even at times but with purpose.

Constantly – walking down the sidewalk or into a store or restaurant – one or both of us would reach for the other. Our hands would grasp, and we’d walk together, touching.

Casual – sitting on the couch at home or in a restaurant or driving down the road, touching.

Silent type - Hmm? You there? Yes, here’s my hand. You okay or feeling anxious? Yes, here’s my hand. Whispers and murmurs but always a touch. You are not alone, feel my hand touching you. 

Absently but with purpose – middle of the night rolling over, a hand would reach out from either of us to pat, soothe, ease back to sleep. Squeeze fingers, more murmurs but always a touch.

I miss that and it’s not even been 24 hours.