Being Thankful

 Being Thankful

First and foremost. I Melissa, aka Mel am fine – okay slight fib, how about this?  I am “getting there.”

Let’s be honest, this is tough going. Surviving and living after the death of a spouse. I digress…

I’d mentioned in a post on my Facebook page that I’d had a hugely profound moment the other day while sitting in the Birds room (I have two adult Blue and Gold Macaws). I don’t remember what I was watching or listening to or thinking, but it hit me suddenly that I, big bold letter I, am doing “it”.

It being life, It being living, It being acknowledging, It being surviving. It being “being okay” and having moments from time to time out of the blue; driving, showering, cooking, sleeping, watching tv, shopping, taking a walk, exercising, cleaning, sitting in your parent’s kitchen visiting, talking on the phone with a friend, peeing, etc.

It hit me that with all the events of the past year and now the almost six months after, that I do have the strength and backing I’d not thought I would have. I apologized lamely to my Mum for crying while I was sitting on a chair in her kitchen yesterday. Her response, ‘You went through a huge event and it’s all still so fresh. It’s going to happen. It’s okay.’

I made the trek home yesterday, the 26^th of November to see both families for the first time since last Thanksgiving, Brandon’s last Thanksgiving.

Last Thanksgiving was the first AND last time we’d been up there to see folks in two years for a few very big reasons, Covid and well, Brandon’s cancer diagnosis. It was simply too much and too far of a drive for him with his diagnosis. And he was in the hospital for Christmas and then again at New Years with a heart surgery and complications from it and his cancer, so a traditional family gathering wasn’t possible.

I had been home for a brief visit to see my parents back in September; They’d both had some things going on and I needed to be home to see them. I needed to be home for them and for me. A year is an awfully long time to not see family, especially with numerous heavy things happening in this thing called life.

The two visits, the one in September and one to see both families, mine and Brandon’s yesterday were both very poignant. They gave me realizations of things that I know deep inside, yet still question unnecessarily.

Life is so so short, yet so full of everything possible. Family does matter and sometimes family is not always through blood relations, but through people who want to be in your life and are. They are the people who accept you as the person YOU are; the people who love you and would do anything for you to see you happy.

I have both and for that, my heart is full and happy, and I am thankful more than I can say or express.

Life IS good.